don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
