I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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