no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
