$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
