I am puke
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
