how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
