saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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