hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
