It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
