i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Houston, we have a squirter
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
