I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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