Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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