My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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