just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
