You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
