We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
