Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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