It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
