Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
don't judge my taste in strippers
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
