I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize