I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i will never coherently bang her
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
