Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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