guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
