I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
