too bad you live with your parents still
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
