You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
