i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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