how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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