just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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