You can't motorboat a personality
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
