I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
