Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
