This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
