also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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