somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
