dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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