You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
