It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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