i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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