We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
