I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
