You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
