I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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