sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
