hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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