It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
