so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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