i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I believe in your delicious
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
