i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
