This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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