didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
