I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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