I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
