Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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