she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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