I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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