What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
