white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
