I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
