were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize