i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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